A little background first—I work as an editor at the University of Florida. I’m 48 years old, been married for 10 years to a wonderful, tolerant woman and have a 6-year-old son. When I was his age, I liked to watch the Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau when it was on TV, and would run around the house humming its unforgettably stirring theme music. Had an LP of the Songs of the Humpback Whale and used to listen to it over breakfast. I grew up in Connecticut, and at the age of about 13, I asked my parents if I could take scuba diving lessons at the Y, and to my surprise, they agreed. I eventually dove on a couple of wrecks in Long Island Sound, and later made a visit to John Pennekamp Coral Reef State Park—all cherished memories. As a teenager I had my life path all plotted out—four years as a Navy frogman, followed by a degree in marine biology. Then I would set up house in one of those underwater towns I was certain would be fully established by 1990, would dine entirely on kelp and sea urchins, smoke big seaweed cigars, and never return to dry land.

Somehow none of that happened. In fact—curiously, once I moved to Florida—I never went diving again.  Life happened and I forgot all about living by, on and under the sea.

Then last Christmas Santa got us a Wii–ostensibly for the wife and me to exercise with.  Now I spend all my time sitting on my arse clicking fish. 

I never was a big gamer until this year, and got going with a few Lego games, baseball sims and Legend of Zelda, but nothing really got ahold of me. Mario looked silly no matter where he was hopping, and you couldn’t even pay me to shoot zombies in the dark. Then I heard about a game that was all about paddling around underwater, looking under rocks and doing little tasks with little or no chance of dying within 5 minutes. Sounded perfect. 

I had little idea just how all- consuming these little tasks would be. I’ve completed the main story, entered the Chamber of the Gods, from which we made a breathtakingly close escape, stones tumbling down around us, untold treasures and coelacanths regretfully left behind. Since then, I’ve seen Moby Dick, trained a dolphin, opened an aquarium, taken hundreds of fake photographs of fake wildlife, seen innumerable wonderful sights and gone through many, many silly haircuts. Meanwhile poor Link is still trapped in the Goron Mines, and he ain’t never coming out.  I’m 48 hours in. I’m committed. I can’t picture myself ever playing any other game.

Now I’m ready to take my obsession to the next level and waste even more time blogging about the greatest time waster in the history of wasted time.

Advertisements